ILL folk have suggested keeping doctors happy.

The wise recommendation comes amid growing anger among the doctors with whom we entrust our lives when we fall ill, contract a disease, are accidently injured, or find ourselves on the wrong end of a murder attempt.

“A happy doctor is a useful doctor,” one sickly hospital patient helpfully explained.

“When a doctor approaches me with a needle or scalpel, as they are often required to do, what I find most discourteous is rage.

“Anger is certainly the last emotion you would yearn for in a person who is about to knock you unconscious, spend several hours rooting around your insides, and remove and replace a malfunctioning organ.

“Happiness is preferred in all circumstances.”

Examples of ill-advised conduct that may result in raised anger levels include; implying doctors don’t work hard enough, accusing doctors of being irresponsible, refusing to talk to or listen to doctors,  and ignoring the advice of doctors.

“Another bad idea is pretending to give doctors money when actually taking it away from them,” the ill person continued to advise.

“It’s these sorts of actions which can make a doctor angry enough to walk out of the hospital and spend a day or two shouting nasty things about you instead.

“A far better idea, in my humble opinion, is to treat doctors with respect, make them feel appreciated, listen to what they say, and maybe buy them a little present every now and again.

“It’s the least we could do for a group of people without whom many of us, myself included, would be rotting away six feet under.”

Research shows there is a strong correlation between the happiness of doctors and the health of their patients, but this is research that is sometimes ignored.

“Unfortunately the people most likely to overlook the importance of maintaining a doctor’s contentment are the same people entrusted with fulfilling this very objective.”