IT’S not just summer.

It’s a record-breaking summer that is several degrees warmer than would have been possible without the half-a-trillion tonnes of carbon burned by humans since the industrial age, resulting in a 47% increase in atmospheric carbon that has long been observed to have had a significant warming effect on the planet.

“Non-climatologists know less about climatology than climatologists, because they have not studied climatology,” explained a climatologist.

“As a climatologist who has studied climatology, I’m afraid to tell you that this is not just summer.

“This is a highly exceptional summer that simply would not be happening without the choices humans have made.

“We’ve been burning gases which we know have a warming effect on the atmosphere, so we shouldn’t be surprised to find the atmosphere warming and the climate changing.

“If you’re trying to claim that this is ‘just summer’ because you think you know more about climatology than people who have spent many years studying climatology, you’re either stupid, narcissistic, or have a tiny penis.

“Either way, you’re just wrong.”

In other news, behavioural scientists have found a strong correlation between those who say this is “just summer” and those who wrongly claimed in early 2020 that a deadly new virus which would later kill millions around the globe was “just flu”. Further research is now being undertaken to determine any casual link between their dismissal of scientific findings and the size of their genitalia.