Girl threatens status quo, insecure men

A GIRL who wants grown-ups to start acting their age and take responsibility for their own mistakes has made a number of men feel threatened, bless ’em.

The child has said that she wants adults to stop being “spoiled brats” and actually start to care about things beyond how popular they are at work and how fast their car is.

Angry that she has been born into a new century full of the toxic crap left behind by people who spent the last one having a huge party and not cleaning up afterwards, the girl has called for those responsible to “pick up a fucking broom and clean it up now you selfish little shits”.

While the girl has been praised by many for her inspirational leadership and no-nonsense approach, some people with penises have complained that she isn’t their real mum.

“But, but, but I don’t want to tidy up,” wailed one fully-grown man.

“Who are you to tell me what to do? You’re, like, way younger than me and don’t have a willy.

“I’ve been doing what I want my whole life and getting away with it so I don’t understand why I should suddenly start taking responsibility for the mess I’ve helped make just because it’s started to kill people.


Other threatened men say they think the girl should stop trying to clean up the world and instead concentrate on making them a nice packed lunch.