A PERSON who is well known by a lot of people, most of whom they have never met, has attended an event.

The famous person was dressed nicely and was accompanied by one of their offspring, who was also looking good.

After shaking people’s hands, exchanging some kisses, and waving to onlookers, the famous person gave a short speech.

They said: “I am here today at this event because I support this event and the people who organised this event made an undisclosed offer to my representatives.

“Now that I am at this event I am very happy that it is attracting attention because of my presence. I would like to thank the people who organise this event for inviting me and for complying with the requests and conditions I had made prior to my arrival.

“Because of my involvement I know this event will be successful, and I hope this will be acknowledged. I also hope that my reputation and popularity is boosted by my attendance at this event.

“This is the sort of event I have decided is good for me to be associated with, and if you know of any similar events taking place I would encourage you to contact me.

“May I also take this chance to mention that an artistic endeavour of mine will soon go on public sale.”

The speech was interspersed with jokes which may or may not have been written by the famous person. After its conclusion, there was applause. The famous person subsequently departed.

Despite the famous person’s absence, the event continues, but has since been entirely uneventful.

No further famous people are expected to attend the event, but if they do you will hear about it here first.