A CRAP system has produced a crap outcome.

The crap structure and crap mechanics of the crap system have a long and storied history of producing crappy results but the crappiness of the crap system’s latest crap outcome is crappier than usual, surprising many people who did not realise exactly how crappy the crap outcomes of the crap system could be.

“This is crap,” exclaimed one shocked onlooker, who has been a part of the crap system her entire crap life. “I mean, really crap.”

“I’m very familiar with this crap system and I understand that it is always likely to produce crap outcomes, but, wow. I just didn’t think the crappiness could get this crappy.

“This crap outcome is going to make a lot of people’s crappy lives even crappier than they currently are, including mine. It makes you wonder if maybe it’s time to just get rid of this crap system and replace it with something that isn’t so, you know, what’s the word?

“Crap.”

Crap analysts and crap forecasters had predicted that the latest crap outcome of the crap system would be the least crappy of two really fucking crappy options. But their predictions turned out to be crap.

“We got it wrong,” admitted one crap analyst. “I guess we underestimated the ability of this crap system to produce results so crappy that they redefine the meaning of the word ‘crap’.

“We used to think that ‘crap’ meant the continuation of the same crap we’ve put up with for the last crap century. At least, in this crap scenario, we knew what crap we were going to get. We could prepare for it. Now, well, holy crap. What do we do to prepare for this stinking pile of fetid, fuming excrement?

“It used to be that we’d get crap solutions to crap problems. Now, we’re not going to get any solutions of any kind, we’re just going to get wave after wave of huge new mountains of crappy problems so crap that the crap system won’t even be able to handle the strain of producing so much crap all at once.

“This could well be the crap to end all crap.”