CLEAN water is needed to keep people alive, it has emerged.

Investigations showed that people who do not have access to clean water are more likely to suffer health problems and die.

“I can confirm that clean water is indeed a crucial factor in one’s survival,” a scientist explained.

“Water is needed to hydrate the body, so without it you will die. You may also die if you drink water that contains a deadly disease.

“In conclusion, clean water is important.”

The investigation was prompted by questions over the deaths of millions of people each year.

A crack team of detectives was hired to solve the riddle.

“We were asked to determine why all of these people who lacked access to clean water were mysteriously dying,” said one of the sleuths.

“We did years and years of research, undertaking test after test after test, trying to find a common link between all of the deaths of these people who lacked access to clean water.

“Our serial killer hypothesis didn’t stand up, and nor did my colleague’s theory that thousands of people who lacked access to clean water were all being hit directly on the head by meteorites every single day.

“I was about to give up on the conundrum until my tap started dripping, and then it suddenly dawned on me – it was the water.

“These people had all died from dehydration or disease caused by the scarcity of clean water! Who knew, eh?”

Now that the riddle of these deaths has finally be solved once and for all, attention has turned to how to start saving lives.

The scientist confirmed that clean water was abundant.

“Affirmative. It falls from the sky regularly.”

So why didn’t everyone have access to it?

“It has to be collected, stored and transported to the places it is needed, even on days when it does not fall from the sky, and without being contaminated in the process.

“Hopefully one day someone will invent a way to do this.”