CHILDREN are being lied to by adults.

The lies are now widespread, and nearly every child has been affected.

Any child that questions the lie is told that they are wrong, and the lie reiterated to them. Any parent who tells their child the truth is admonished, and accused of child cruelty.

“I think it’s really important to a child’s emotional development that they are lied to from an early age,” one lying parent explained.

“The lie should be repeated regularly, and emphasised by the occasional interaction with an adult who can act out the lie. This can help to entrench the lie in the malleable mind of a naive young tot.

“Positive reinforcement of the lie is also encouraged. Whenever the child displays behaviour consistent with how the lie has been conveyed by their parent, they should be rewarded with elaborate and unnecessary gifts.

“I myself lie regularly to my children, and enjoy watching how happy the lie makes them. To me, lying is one of the most satisfying aspects of being a parent.

“I am, however, greatly fearful of the day when my children finally, and sadly inevitably, discover that the person they trust the most in the whole wide world has been gleefully lying to them for their entire life.”

The lie is said to have begun as a traditional children’s story, before morphing into an institutionalised lie that is now so powerful and universal, that hardly anyone dare tell children the truth, nor criticise their parents for concealing it.

“In my view, any parent who is honest and truthful with their child, and refuses to lie to them, should have a gun put to their head until they do, and the trigger pulled if they don’t.

“Because a childhood is a special, innocent time, that must never, and will never, be tarnished by any hint of the real world.”