AN IMBECILE who refuses to get vaccinated against a deadly disease during a pandemic just wants to feel clever.

The utter moron, fed up of being accurately told how stupid they are, devised a not-so-cunning plan at the start of this year that involved trying to claim they were more intelligent than all of the world’s scientists and medical professionals.

“The moment I realised the vaccines were a ploy to insert mind-altering microchips into the population, I instantly started to feel clever,” the witless dingbat mused.

“All of a sudden, after being told how utterly dumb I was for my whole entire life, I had a reason to convince myself that I had out-smarted the world’s most cleverest people.

“Then I got together with all the other brainiacs who had sussed it out and we started doing really smart things like gathering in big crowds without masks so that we could show off to everyone how super brainy we were.

“Then some of us started visiting the hospital so we could explain to the doctors in-between gasping for air that they were all wrong.

“Then some of us started pretending to die and I haven’t seen those people since but they’re probably just hiding out before they do something real clever like organising an anti-lockdown rally on the day lockdown ends or storming the abandoned headquarters of an organisation they don’t like or maybe drinking some bleach.

“Then I started to get a really bad cough.”

At press time, the lumbering numbskull could not be contacted.