Storytellers disagree, resort to violence

A GROUP of storytellers who believe in a particular version of events, some concerning characters with magical powers, are killing groups who like to tell slightly different stories about similar characters.

None of the storytelling groups have been able to conclusively prove that their narratives are correct, largely because the key events took place several hundred years ago and the protagonists have long since died, but this has not stopped them using violence to try and enforce their claims.

Although some of the storytellers have agreed to disagree, one particular group is so convinced their tales are the truth that they’ve now decided to go around killing anyone who refuses to join them.

“The character development and the dialogue in your version of these events are different to those I have chosen to believe,” a member of the murderous storytelling group told members of a rival group that have been cornered.

“It is no longer acceptable to us that you should have the freedom to tell different stories to the ones that we tell.

“Unless you accept that you are wrong and join our storytelling group instead, we will kill you and your family.”

Hundreds have died in the recent storytelling conflict, in a part of the world where a wide variety of such groups have often congregated, but it is not the first time that violence has flared – there, or anywhere else – because of a difference of opinion between rival storytellers.

In fact it is depressingly common and somewhat predictable.

Non-storytellers don’t deny the right of any storytelling group to tell their stories and believe that they are true, but have politely requested that such stories not be used as an excuse to do bad things that harm people or animals.

They were told by the violent storytellers: “You must wholeheartedly swear that our stories are true, despite their contradictions and the improbable conclusions from them that we derive.

“You must also agree to reject the somewhat more probable explanation for our existence to which you have subscribed, despite the increasingly tall stack of evidence that has accumulated to support it.

“Lastly, we demand that you stop doing a lot of things that you enjoy doing, take up less enjoyable activities instead, treat women and homosexuals disrespectfully, brainwash your children, and live your life according to a series of pedantic rules that you will have no control over.

“Thanks for selling us weapons, by the way.”

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