THE internet is jam-packed with naked people, tabloid newspaper readers have discovered.
Tits, torsos, boobs, buttocks, genitals and mammary glands are just some of the body parts featured on the internet – and are less than a click away from appearing on your screen right now.
The revelation was made by tabloid readers who have been forced to look elsewhere for their daily dose of exposed skin.
“Wow, the internet is gooooooooood,” exclaimed one such browser as he eagerly ditched his red-top for a laptop.
“There’s all sorts on here, not just the tits, but everything, all of it. I can stare at them for as long as I like, wherever I like. It’s fucking well good.
“Look, it even gives you a choice, you don’t have to wait 24 hours to view a different pair of melons! THIS. IS. AWESOME.”
Thousands of tabloid readers have been rushing out to buy electronic devices through which the internet can be accessed, after growing frustrated with the lack of nudity available to them in a printed format.
“I was so angry when I found out they weren’t going to be printing naked body parts anymore,” continued the flesh enthusiast.
“I mean, come on, surely it’s the job of a newspaper to report on what the naked human body looks like? How else are people like me supposed to find out stuff like that?
“This isn’t just trivial you know, it’s important, it’s about exposing the truth of nudity.
“Man, I was real pissed for a while, I even thought for a second I might have to write a complaint letter or some other kind of extreme protest.
“But then my nerdy mate showed me how many naked people there were online. Frankly, I’m amazed.
“Before now I had absolutely no idea you could actually look at tits on the internet.”