Death-trap factories ‘make perfect accessory’

DEATH-TRAP factories built under lax regulations in the Third World are so on trend.

The sweatshops work best when paired with negligible workers’ rights and rampant capitalism.

Most of the major high street shops are now stocking them, but for best results check out the brands selling clothes at ‘knock-down prices’ and blood stains on the sleeve.

“Wow, this collapsing factory is just fabulous,” the boss of one Western retailer enthused.

“The cramped conditions make for excellent death tolls, while I absolutely adore the complete lack of an integrated sprinkler system.”

One fashion label said the teetering garment mills were such a hot item this season, they were literally on fire.

“Can’t you smell it?” asked its boss. “That’s the whiff of burning child slaves.

“And it’s going to look simply amazing on you.”

However, the finance director of a rival brand said factories didn’t always have to collapse or go up in flames to make a statement on the catwalk.

“It’s easy to forget the importance of chemical leaks and poor ventilation to making this look work,” he explained.

“There are many ways in which a Western clothing brand can ignore the well-being of its workers. I suggest you find the best combination that works for you.”

A politician, who is also the chief executive of a major fashion chain, said his company’s low wages and 18-hour shifts were “really slimming”.

He added: “Trust me, you’re going to look like an utter twat unless you wear one of our giant death factories.”

Supermarket brands are also cashing-in on the popularity of the twisted wreckage from another fatal factory collapse.

“Everywhere’s selling ‘em, but you won’t find them cheaper than with us,” boasted one supermarket chief.

“No-one does health and safety at a lower cost than we do. It’s our price promise.”

Hundreds of victims of multiple textile factory disasters said they were happy to help Westerners save money and look great “in this difficult economic climate”.