Arms dealer puts profits before death

A WEAPONS manufacturer has admitted that the pursuit of profit is more important than other activities such as war, genocide and worsening child mortality rates.

The admission has angered pro-war activists who have demanded that death should always come first.

“Look, I’ll be completely honest with you,” the boss of the arms company explained.

“Profits are more important than all this war and death stuff. There’s no point me denying it, is there?

“We think it’s a sad day when we sell a gun and it never gets used to kill anything, but, hey, you can’t shoot everyone. Some things are more important than death.

“We recently sold a bunch of missiles to a country we flat-out knew would never have the balls to use them. They just wanted to look good to all their mates.

“But, you know what, that’s fine with me. We still got paid. It’s not an ideal scenario, obviously, but business is business.”

Human death groups have argued that the defence industry should perhaps be nationalised, so that weapons can be sold by the government only when they have a guarantee that they will be used to slaughter people.

Weapons manufacturers have rejected the proposal.

“Absolutely not. Do you really think the government has got enough time to be going around all these far-flung corners of the world just to clinch arms deals?

“No, it has to be the private sector, because only we can be trusted to build the weapons needed to kill vast swathes of the population.

“Okay, sure, our shareholders come first, but don’t fret.

“We love a good genocide, militia terror campaign, Western invasion or terrorist attack as much as any other crazed lunatic.”

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